Many mystery/thriller writers hammer their readers relentlessly with non-stop tension. I use a bit of humor in between action scenes to give my readers a break. Following is an example of a light moment between my 28-year-old private investigator, Jason Duffy, and his girlfriend, Kelly:
Kelly reminded me at least three times during the month that her high school friend, Lynette, was working at a haunted house in downtown San Diego throughout the Halloween season. I called at lunchtime and asked if she wanted to go see Lynette tonight. She was thrilled that I was paying attention. Lynette told her that if we went through the haunted house at the back end of the first group, she’d be able to chat for a minute and was looking forward to meeting me. Kelly thought the box office opened at 6:00 and the first tour went through at 6:30. I made reservations at a nice Italian bistro in the Gaslamp Quarter, not far from the haunted house, for 7:30.
Kelly suggested we wear Halloween costumes in keeping with the spirit of the weekend. But, knowing that the restaurant would not be catering to revelers, I told her we shouldn’t compete with Lynette’s outfit and should probably dress in the kind of casual clothes that horror movie victims wear.
Just before 6:00 we arrived at the box office, only to read a sign that it opens at 6:30. After a quick scan of the immediate area, I spotted a Hooter’s nearby and suggested we kill the half-hour by getting a drink.
“You were doing so well, up to this point,” Kelly said.
“Oh, c’mon. It’ll be fun.”
“Fun for you. This was probably part of your plan all along”
“I’m not the one who said the box office opens at 6:00. I’ll bet the waitresses are dressed up for Halloween.”
Kelly reluctantly went along with my plan and, sure enough, the waitresses were in Halloween costumes. Our waitress was dressed in what appeared to be official USMC underwear, with a few cuts and tucks to the boxer shorts. Kelly landed a kick to my shinbone after I saluted her and said, “Private Pleasure reporting for duty, sir!”
After she took our orders and retreated to the bar, Kelly said, “I’ll bet you’re a riot at the tittie bars.”
“I don’t go to those places, except when I’m tailing someone for work or providing moral support at a bachelor party.”
“I saw how you looked at her,” Kelly said in a teasing manner.
“Just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.” Classic quotes, like classic rock, can be timeless.
“Unless you want to switch to the No Fun Diet I suggest you be mindful of your eyes when she returns with our drinks.”
“I’ll stare at the floor as a sign of my true devotion to you, my love.”
Five minutes later our saucy soldier returned. True to my word, I held a $20 bill in my hand as I stared at her feet. “What color nail polish is that?” I asked.
“It’s camouflage, to go with my outfit,” she replied. “Do you like it?”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” she asked.
Looking into her eyes for the first time since she returned, I replied, “You don’t want the boys calling you camo toes, do you?”
My smile turned to a grimace as blood rushed to my shinbone.